In the Sheepdog's Absence

Here we are again. The unthinkable becoming reality. Seared in our minds this time are not horrific scenes of towers falling, but rather of bloodied bodies being dragged and carried from their dormitories. It frustrates me to know that my enemies have won again. I fight evil, and evil has once again prevailed. I came home on the day of the massacre and listened to my wife tell me of newly released details that she had seen on the television. 21 dead, 30 dead. 32 dead. When were the numbers going to stop? I began to feel the anger welling inside my soul. I didn't want to hear anymore. I am still angry and I feel that at least for the time, ignorance will be my greatest ally.

I will grieve for the men and women who were slaughtered. I will grieve for their families and the loss of what they have loved for a lifetime. I will grieve when the anger recedes. Right now, I am just avoiding the television, the newspapers...any accounts of it. It sickens me to hear about the school, the procedure(s) that were or were not followed, of how no one acted to defend against this lone assailant {a' la flight 93}, of the beauty of hindsight. I avoid the frothing mouths craving ratings and dollars. Newspapers, radio, television stations can you please offer me an explanation? Why didn't we see or hear your pious clamoring deriding the administration of this school before this incident? Why weren't you critical of the college's policy of securing the campus during crisis before there was a crisis? You know why? Because the media as we know it today are a reactive group of people who at every chance, seek to prey on the basest ingredient of the human nature. I avoid these empty words printed to criticize and berate. I avoid the mouth in the suit telling me that more should have been done. And do you know why I avoid it? BECAUSE IT DOES NOTHING TO HELP! It waits for disaster and then dumps criticism on those involved. It waits for tragedy and then points its fat, overfed finger. I don't care that the masses think that the school could have done more to stop the murders. Where was this criticism before this happened? You know where it was? It was nonexistent because it was not necessary. Do we honestly think that these institutions of higher learning are not doing everything in their power to protect our children? Think of it this way, oh you naysayers...give me your answer as to what you feel the school could have done to avoid this tragedy. Oh you gazer of the crystal ball...do proffer your all-knowing answer. Give it to me, and I will give you a single variable...one unforeseen ingredient that will totally shatter your equation of perfection. And do you know why this is? Because there are, and always be, things that happen outside of our control and this possessed man was the variable this time.

However, this, this friends is what I do care about. I care about the fathers and mothers who will never see their children again. I care about the lovers who will never have the opportunity to vow their devotion to one another. I care about the mothers who had their flowers ripped from their hands; the fathers who's legacies died with their sons. This is what matters. Why can't we realize this? Things happen that we cannot control. People have killed and will continue to kill and there is absolutely nothing that we can do to totally eliminate some people's lust for death.

I was asked by a gentleman the other day how I felt about the events, and I answered, "I wish I would have been in that dorm five minutes before that demon walked in." "And what is it that you think you could have done young man?", he replied. "I could have made a difference." Maybe my absence was the variable.