I saw this video and heard this song the other day and I broke down. If you want to know what our heroes are eperiencing not only in the theater of operations, but upon their homecoming as well, watch this video. I don't think that I've heard the feelings of a warrior upon his homecoming better expressed. For those of you who have been follwing my blog, first let me apologize for your agony, and second I want you to watch this video and then read an excerpt of one of my entries that I wrote after I returned. After you do, I think you will understand how close to home this song hit. It is called "I Just Came Back From War", and it can be viewed here.
"We are warriors and have a warrior’s bond which no nine-to-five could ever begin to offer. I will miss the life of a warrior. To be able to place my life in the hands of another, and have his place his in mine. To fight side by side; our only fear being that we may see one of our own fall. We all have seen one of us fall, and none of will ever feel the same.We, in our own ways, are all scared. Husbands and fathers are afraid of being strangers to their wives and children. The single Marines are afraid of returning to an atmosphere of normalcy and relative serenity. We are all different men than we were six months ago. The thought of adaptation has become a collective, unspoken sore spot. The return will undoubtedly be easier for some than it will be for others but one thing is certain; we all long to return despite our fears. We all long for the lives that we left. Personally, I am apprehensive of the changes that my family has underwent since I left. My daughters know “Daddy” as a name and a voice that lives in the cell phone. My wife remembers me the way I used to be before war took a hold of so much of my mind. Yes, it’s ominous, but I long for it so much; we all do. I am still very much compressed. Crowds make me extremely uncomfortable. Eccentric colors give me a headache. Driving down the street is a completely different experience that it has been for the past thirteen years. I am sure that this will all wear off in the near future, but until it does, it will be an interesting time. I have found that I prefer to either be alone, or with the other Marines. People just seem to annoy me since I returned. Of course California being the most rude and intrusive state that I have ever visited (sorry Californians) doesn’t help matters any. I have had to literally ignore a few people simply because I wanted to yank them up.I've left one dream and entered another. It's hard to concieve how the life that I've lived for twenty-nine years could now seem abnormal. It's so different; I almost feel out of place, yet it feels so good to be that much closer to home. It feels akward writing in a barracks room as opposed to a bombed out building. It will defintely take some time. I've begun to notice how much my time in Iraq has affected me. I find myself still scanning roadsides, finding a corner in a crowded area and staring at people a bit more than I should. And as I expected, I can't bring myself to watch the news and see the Marines, my brothers, still fighting over there. I am just taking it all in right now and hoping that the sense of normalcy returns soon."
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
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5 comments:
Although your life was not required of you while serving our country (PRAISE GOD!!), we recognize the many other sacrifices that you had to make; and for that, we are forever grateful to you! America's Son will always be a "Honored Warrior"!!!! I pray that you will soon find a new, comfortable mindset to call "normal". Find your rest and peace in HIM!
Darryl's song and your words really help us to understand ( as much as we can) how hard it is to come home. The saying is 'you can't go home again', but the reality is home may or may not have changed, but you have.
I hope that reading your own words now is easier than it was to write them. The edges wear down a little, maybe, so they don't cut as much :-)
Thanks for point that song / video out to us -- I have a few folks to share it with!
Barb,
Thanks for sharing this with me. It's heartbreaking, but true, from what I've been told/what I've read. I hate to think about our guys/gals returning from war thinking that they're fighting and dying for people who don't care anymore. That's just not true... I just don't know how to make sure they know that.
I Cor. 13:11 , nothing looks the same. that's OK. you've seen through 'HIS' eyes. you are in a good place. i echo anonymous's
words. + "If Tomorrow Never Comes"
poem. America's Son-Honored Warrior
my prayers for you.
Demobilizing,
From my life in the combat zone back to the the states. Back to the place and family that I love. this place has me appreicate my life a lot more. I hope the transition isnt to hard. I found that the less I had here the easier life was. For a good stretch of time my only concerns here were; food, mission, sleep and shower. Now Im going back to the land of variety. I witnessed some horrific events. Young Soldiers getting hurt real bad and their buddies not handling it very well. Young men with very little life experience thrown into very difficult and scary situations. In many ways their youth carried them through but it also made it more difficult for them to understand. In some cases these boys were straight out of HS then onto Basic. They forged bonds with their buddys and spent every day with these guys. Then one day on mission they didnt come back. In a lot of cases they were combat ineffective after being on the recieving and of an ambush. It didnt really seem to bother me too much, I have based my entire career on having a high level of readiness. I just cleaned the blood and bone off of my gear and told myself to be ready for the next mission. Little did I know I was feeling the effects of PTSD. They were minor, but they were still there. Im ready to move on, thankful I have all my parts and that I was there to help save some of the guys operating to my right and left. I did my part. Now what?
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